The Marry Month of May (Henry)
In the month of May, an elderly man named Mr. Coulson suffered from gout and was confined to his chair in his house near Gramercy Park. He had a daughter, Miss Van Meeker Constantia Coulson, and a housekeeper, Mrs. Widdup.
One day, Mr. Coulson found himself feeling unusually cold in his room and blamed it on the spring weather. He asked his daughter about the weather outside, and she confirmed that it was indeed chilly.
In May nature holds up at us a chiding finger, bidding us remember that we are not gods, but overconceited members of her own great family.
Miss Coulson, suspecting that her father might be falling for the housekeeper, decided to take matters into her own hands. She arranged for a thousand pounds of ice to be delivered to their basement, making the house even colder. This caused Mr. Coulson to become even more irritable and he scolded Mrs. Widdup for talking about the beauty of spring when he was freezing in his own home.
However, Mrs. Widdup discovered the ice in the basement and managed to shut off the registers that were letting the cold air into Mr. Coulson's room. The room returned to its normal temperature, and Mr. Coulson once again found himself feeling the effects of the spring weather. He expressed his affection for Mrs. Widdup and his desire to marry her, but worried about what his daughter would think.
In May Cupid shoots blindfolded—millionaires marry stenographers; wise professors woo white-aproned gum-chewers behind quick-lunch counters; schoolma’ams make big bad boys remain after school.
In a surprising twist, it was revealed that Miss Coulson had run away with the iceman the night before, leaving Mr. Coulson and Mrs. Widdup free to pursue their relationship without any objections.