Very Short Summary
New York City, early 2000s. Four college friends - Jude, Willem, JB, and Malcolm - began their adult lives sharing struggles and ambitions.
As their careers flourished, Jude's traumatic past haunted him. Abandoned as a baby and raised in a monastery, he endured severe abuse from the monks, particularly Brother Luke, who forced him into sex work. After escaping, he suffered further abuse from Dr. Traylor and later, as an adult, from his boyfriend Caleb.
Sometimes it's because I feel so awful, or ashamed, and I need to make physical what I feel... And sometimes it's because I feel so many things and I need to feel nothing at all.
Willem became Jude's roommate and closest friend, eventually developing into his romantic partner. Despite Willem's patience and love, Jude continued to struggle with self-harm and intimacy. Their relationship deepened, though Jude's trauma and physical disabilities created ongoing challenges. Willem encouraged Jude to seek help and supported him through various crises.
Tragedy struck when Willem died in a car accident along with their friend Malcolm. Devastated by the loss, Jude's condition deteriorated rapidly. Despite the efforts of his friends and adopted father Harold to save him, Jude's grief and trauma overwhelmed him. Two years after Willem's death, unable to cope with his loss and past trauma, Jude took his own life.
The novel concluded with a reflection on Jude and Willem's time in their first apartment on Lispenard Street, emphasizing the profound impact of their relationship and the devastating consequences of trauma and loss.
Detailed Summary by Parts
Part titles are expanded from the original, and sections within parts are editorial.
Part 1. Lispenard Street
The Four Friends' Early Days in New York
Four college friends - Willem, Jude, JB, and Malcolm - attempted to establish themselves in New York City. Willem and Jude tried to rent an apartment on Lispenard Street but were denied due to financial reasons. The incident became a shared joke among the friends, highlighting their early struggles in the city.
Friendship was witnessing another's slow drip of miseries, and long bouts of boredom, and occasional triumphs. He sometimes felt that he had been strapped, upright, to a dolly and was being wheeled from place to place.
Part 2. The Postman
Jude's Daily Life and Hidden Pain
Jude's life was marked by routine and pain. Every Sunday, he took long walks through New York City, despite his physical limitations and the disapproval of his doctor, Andy. These walks were not for pleasure but rather a form of ritual. He shared an apartment with Willem on Lispenard Street, which they had modified to accommodate their needs. While Willem's acting career flourished, Jude maintained a successful legal career while hiding his deep emotional and physical struggles.
He was reminded of how trapped he is, trapped in a body he hates, with a past he hates, and how he will never be able to change either. Friendship, companionship: it so often defied logic.
Glimpses of Jude's Past Trauma
Jude's past gradually emerged through fragments of memory. He was found as a baby in a trash bag and raised in a monastery, where he endured severe abuse. His early life was marked by exploitation and trauma, particularly at the hands of Brother Luke, who groomed and abused him under the guise of love and protection.
Part 3. Vanities
Changes in Friendships and Personal Lives
The friends' lives took different paths as they matured. JB's artistic career flourished, but he struggled with drug addiction. During a Fourth of July weekend, while his friends were away, JB attempted to quit drugs but ultimately failed. His addiction led to a confrontation where he cruelly mocked Jude's disability, causing a rift in their friendship. Malcolm considered marriage to Sophie, while continuing his successful architecture career. The dynamics of their friendship group shifted as they faced individual challenges and personal growth.
Part 4. The Axiom of Equality
Confronting Past and Present Trauma
Jude's life was further complicated by his relationship with Caleb, who became physically and emotionally abusive. The relationship ended in a brutal assault that left Jude severely injured. During this period, Jude was adopted by his former law professor, Harold, and his wife Julia, who provided him with parental love and support he had never known.
Part 5. The Happy Years
Willem and Jude's Relationship
Following Jude's suicide attempt, Willem moved in with him, and their friendship evolved into a romantic relationship. Willem's career as an actor continued to flourish while he provided Jude with the patience and understanding he needed. However, their relationship was complicated by Jude's trauma and his difficulty with physical intimacy. Despite these challenges, they found moments of joy and connection in their shared life.
He has never been able to imagine what his life might be; even as a child, even as he dreamed of other places, of other lives, he wasn't able to visualize what those other places and lives would be.
The Tragic End
Their happiness was cut short when Willem and Malcolm died in a car accident. The loss devastated Jude, who had come to depend on Willem as his anchor and source of stability. The tragedy marked a turning point in Jude's life, pushing him deeper into despair.
Part 6. Dear Comrade
Life After Willem
After Willem's death, Jude retreated further into isolation. He maintained rituals to keep Willem's memory alive, such as wearing his clothes and preserving his scent. His grief manifested in self-destructive behaviors and a withdrawal from his remaining friends. Despite efforts from Harold, Julia, and Andy to support him, Jude struggled to find a reason to continue living without Willem.
He would have traded any of them for Willem. JB, instantly. Richard and Andy - poor Richard and Andy, who did everything for him! - instantly. Julia, even. Harold. He would have exchanged any of them, all of them.
He has the sense, once again, that his life is moving backward, that it is becoming smaller and smaller, the cement box shrinking around him until he is left with a space so cramped.
Part 7. Lispenard Street
Final Reflections
The story concluded with a gathering in Rome, where friends attended a ceremony at the American Academy. During this time, memories of Willem and their life together on Lispenard Street surfaced, highlighting the profound impact of their relationship and the devastating consequences of its loss. The narrative came full circle, returning to the place where their story began, but now marked by absence and grief.